As many of you know, earlier this year I departed federal service. This marked my first break from work in more than 25 years (!!!).
The ensuing months were both freeing and anxiety-inducing as I tried to map myself to the next place. I was reminded of my emotions right after graduating undergrad– a world of opportunity opened as I went into free fall and asked myself over and over, what next?
Nerves frayed as weeks went on. I wasn’t used to creating my own structure, my patience skills are a perpetual work in progress, and the unknown felt vast. I had to keep telling myself to keep the faith, keep moving forward.
At times, this proved difficult. And yet the transition also helped me see with new eyes and live at a different cadence. This Black Coffee Friday post captures these takeaways both for future me and for anyone else who may find themselves in a similar situation.
Elasticity of Time
Time without a daily schedule became amorphous, elastic. If I wanted to be outside walking for 90 minutes or 2 hours, no problem! I spent at least 15 minutes stretching after a run.
I luxuriated in being able to meet friends without the pressure of a 9 to 5 schedule. Trips to the library didn’t need to be rushed, I could leisurely wander the shelves.
Time’s elasticity was refreshing, even as I hoped it would end quickly.
I was not always efficient and started veering into staying up too late and delaying the start of my days. I thought about all the times in the past where I was convinced that work was holding me back from creative pursuits: writing a book, making art. Not working would surely have freed up space for these unrealized dreams, right? Wrong!
Shifting focus from having a job to not having one was harder than I thought. Perhaps if I had been in this transition longer or it had happened in a planned fashion, this would have played differently. I could have acted on some of those items on my creative wish list. I don’t know. I’ll file that under food for thought for future times.
Personal and Professional Connections
Personal and professional connections pulled me through. I made lists of professional contacts and reached out to them to talk, brainstorm, and reconnect.
People generously made time to meet and chat, to offer ideas. People were willing to share ways to grow my network and to highlight my skills on a resume. They gave me creative approaches to consider when looking for work.
I reconnected with many over the last five months. These meetups meant so much. They stoked my spirit and kept my motivation high, especially because – unlike me – other people had jobs to attend to!
A couple of key people I knew through school or work became real friends during this period. We were in similar spots, each of us having recently left federal service. We shared what we were going through – the good as well as the challenging. It helped to know that we all saw this experience complexly, difficult and yet necessary for us.
I never regretted the decision to leave my work, but sometimes went weak in the knees about moving forward. Felkerino and my friends got me through. I know it was only a job, but over time my job had seeped into my identify. It took some time to deconstruct this.
Felkerino and my friends made plans to get me outside and out of my head. They anchored me and helped me make sense of this moment. If people invited me out, I said yes. I was very power of yes over the last few months.
Empathy
This time proved heavy, and I have greater awareness of how a layoff or unexpected career transition can wear on a person. I was lucky to have a bit of a cushion between leaving my job and the need to start another, but that didn’t always ease my mind.
It is scary to not know what is next, to know that you have to work, to know you have something to offer the world, but you can’t quite figure out how to put all the pieces together.
This is an oversimplification of how these times can play out, but as it unfolded for me I looked at the people passing through my orbit and wondered at the ways most of us will face challenges that loom large but are mostly (if not completely) invisible to others.
A lot of people lost or left their jobs in the D.C. area this year and it has not felt good for many. Empathy weaves us together and is such an important survival tool for our communities.
Nature is Medicine
Fresh air, horizon views, and motion are fundamental to human health. Sometimes I would try to deny myself time outside because I determined I had not worked hard enough to deserve it. No breaks for me because I didn’t yet have a new job.
This approach was unhealthy. Being in nature is a human right. It isn’t something we earn.
How many leadership books and LinkedIn posts have I read about how the best ideas and solutions to thorny problems came to a person when they were out on a run, in a National Park, or out walking their freaking dog?! Yeah, well me too. NATURE.
Coffeeneuring Challenge/Small Pursuits
You knew I had to include it. All posts about life challenges come down to the Coffeeneuring Challenge, who’s with me?!
This year, the Coffeeneuring Challenge gave me a fall riding goal and purpose. It was an immersive outdoor experience that allowed me to connect with my environment and with other bike riding buddies in the area.
The challenge is simple – two wheels, coffee (tea, or other approved beverage), and you. Coffeeneuring can cost us next-to-nothing and is a reminder that much of life happens in the small moments.
I’ll write more about my own experience with this year’s Coffeeneuring Challenge soon. For now I’ll conclude with this reminder to self that whenever we go through something difficult it’s important to carve out a little slice of structure, an attainable and pleasurable goal to make the bigger climb we’re confronting more manageable. That’s what the Coffeeneuring Challenge represented to me this year.
Change is Hard, the Cliché is True
Change builds resilience, but makes us vulnerable before it strengthens. This transition reminded me of the ways we simultaneously hold competing sentiments.
I enjoyed the unexpected gift of time and reconnection while often feeling overwhelmed about where I was heading next. I was grateful to reflect on work and recalibrate its role in my life and identity, while also feeling like I needed to get back to work!
Earlier this month, I found a place to land. My next step. I’m excited to begin something new.
I’m grateful to everyone who reached out, connected, and helped me navigate this period. Thanks to all who got me outside and momentarily away from my worries. If and when I can return the favor, you know where to find me.
Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone has a great weekend. Go outside if you can and always be coffeeneuring!
Chasing Mailboxes 